Sunday, February 12, 2012

Dangers of Valentines Day

Tomorrow being Valentines Day, I thought it a good time to talk about some of the potential problems of putting to much pressure on loved ones to meet this romantic ideal.

Many feel the pressure of trying to make the day extra special, if not perfect for their partner while others are keenly seeking out that 'special one' to share it with. Whilst this might seem to be the 'done thing' I recommend not buying into the Valentines Day pressures.  With so much commercial, and peer pressure, its only natural many couples feel that they must go all out to impress their partners with gifts and romantic dinners. For many local singles the pressure is to find a Valentine with the hope of falling in love. Unfortunately, for many these expectations are unrealistic, potentially leading to disaster and heartache.

With the spotlight so heavily focused on just one day of the year, many feel that the future success (or lack of success) of their romantic love life is to be judged on their ability in wooing a partner. If the day doesn't live up to your expectations you risk being left feeling a failure, even believing your unlovable. Singles who don't have a date might feel lonely and depressed.

I have found that some people are more worried about screwing up Valentine's Day then they are about their relationship! Well chosen flowers, a box of chocolates and Champagne won't guarantee everlasting happiness.

Many singles, and couples have the unrealistic expectation that by merely being in a relationship that it will somehow bring about eternal happiness. In fact just by being with someone doesn't even mean you won't feel lonely. Many clients I see complain about feeling alone and unhappy even though they have a partner.

If you go into a relationship with the expectation that you will always have someone to support and care for you then you're probably in for a big shock. Just being physically near someone doesn't always provide closeness. If you're looking for another half to complete you, and make you feel whole, then you are probably not ready for a relationship, after all who wants only half a person?

So rather then taking on all that pressure to have an unrealistic perfect relationship and romantic day, for just one day of the year, why not use Valentine's Day as a way to just enjoy yourself with a partner, or even a friend, or even just celebrate your own unique wholeness. If February 14th doesn't quite work out, try the 15th or 16th or any other day of the year - the more the better.

If you need help in building a better relationship then call me on 6056 9538.